"We're Just so Different"
"I fell out of Love"
"We're just roommates with benefits"
"We're just room-mates - not even with benefits"
"He / She doesn't listen to me"
"We aren't having sex anymore"
"I'll never be able to trust him/her again"
"I'm just staying for the kids"
"I wish we could go back to how we were"
VIP 1:1 Sessions
Half or Full Day Immersions to dig into the presenting issues
VIP 1:1 Sessions
A full assessment with online quizes, 1:1 sessions, and more done over 7 hours (1.5 days).
VIP 1:1 Sessions
4, 6, 10 month containers.
All the support over the specified amount of time.
It includes all the assessments, online course access, e-mail support in-between, and as many sessions as needed during that time.
online self-study courses
Choose one of two of my online courses.
The Ultimate Couples Bundle covering the key tools couples need to strengthen their connection.
The Affair Recovery Guide for those needing support dealing with the crisis of affair discovery.
After years of offering traditional weekly sessions, I've realised that couples need a much stronger, more intensive approach. Working with our most vulnerable moments though (love), doing group work can feel really daunting and overwhelming. Not something I'd want to do myself - therefore I offer private, personalised workshops/immersion days and weekend retreats! No other couples. And personalised for your specific needs!
Couples Workshops are very useful for:
Conflict Management Skills
Repairing Arguments that keep going around in the same old circle
Repairing old hurts
Building Friendship, Romance & Intimacy
Getting the spark back
Couples struggling with big traumas or infertility
Couples on the brink of divorce (discernment counselling)
"Words are free. It's how you use them that may cost you." -KushandWizdom
It takes two to communicate. And communication is way more involved than just the words said.
If you think back on some of the arguments you've had I'm quite sure you'll find (like I have within my own marriage and friendships) that the most painful fights were by how things were said, it hurt more than what was said! Or how often have you felt that your partner doesn't listen to you? They just 'shut down' when you're trying to discuss something and you land up feeling like you're talking to a wall. Couples counselling is a great way to help you both communicate without nagging or breaking the other down, but building your bridges and creating deep, powerful connections again.
Empathic listening vs 'Fixing'
video: Phil Dunn / Youtube
Sometimes one cannot get your partner to commit to coming to sessions. In such cases, I can do couples work with just one person "hopeful spouse work".
"Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional." -Max Lucado
Communication skills are core to conflict management too. When we understand the skills of communication we are far more able to handle differences and conflict better. Good marriages are not based on never arguing, but on being able to argue better (and to fix things when the arguments didn't go so 'well')! I am here to give you tools to understand those arguments that have just been going round and round and get uglier each time. I'm here to help you fight cleaner so that there is direction afterwards and not resentment. I am here to teach you how to prevent saying what you'll regret and hurting the one you're actually fighting for connection with.
Most arguments aren't about the solving of the problems but learning to dialogue and understand each other's perspectives better so as to easier be able to achieve compromise!
"Compatibility doesn't determine the fate of a marriage, how you deal with the incompatibilities, does.” ― Abhijit Naskar
Infidelity, Betrayal and Shattered Trust
"Very often we don't go elsewhere because we are looking for another person. We go elsewhere because we are looking for another self. It isn't so much that we want to leave the person we are with as we want to leave the person we have become." -Esther Perel
When trust is broken, especially when broken by a loved one, it feels like one's whole world comes crumbling in and the pain is excruciating.
The walls of the house are trust and commitment when trust is broken it feels like the whole house is ruined and all the dreams within crushed. It can feel so heavy and often hurt so much that one doesn't see a way out. Psychologists have discovered that many people suffer from PTSD symptoms when they discover their loved one has cheated on them. The pain is indescribable and it feels impossible to get out of there 'alive'. Most people believe that if their partner cheated they'd never be able to love and trust them again. And it is completely understandable. But... I've also seen the impossible happen. I've seen couples take this crumbled heap of shattered dreams and rebuild their marriage into something even stronger than it was before. It takes a lot of courage. It takes determination. It takes self-sacrifice (because no, it's not fair that you got hurt and now you need to work on the marriage too.. but that's what it takes). But, for what it's worth, I have seen it happen. And I'd love to help you if you feel you can give this another chance. No, it won't be what it was. But it can be something much stronger.
Let me help you hold your big, heavy feelings while you learn the ways to rebuild your marriage, one with stronger foundations, where you're both building with the same picture for the future in mind. Whilst learning these ways we will also be working on atonement and rebuilding the dreams when you're ready.
Need support on Navigating the turmoil after the discovery of an affair? Read more here..