I am committed to highly effective, personalized sessions that get to the core of the issue as quickly as possible. By using a unique approach that incorporates the most potent components of proven therapeutic modalities, we can efficiently address your relationship needs.
Sessions are longer than the traditional, weekly 1-hour appointment model as I have found that we can cover more ground, helping you recover the ‘safe harbour’ of your relationship sooner. Standard sessions begin at 90-minutes but can be extended to 5-hours in duration - or even a weekend intensive (weekend intensives are only through my international affiliate, Couples Therapy Inc).
My approach also includes an individual session with each of you where I get to know you better and gather your history in order to get to know you better. The past has a profound impact on attitudes, triggers, and expectations that we bring into a relationship, and understanding your unique history allows me to help you as a couple quicker and more effectively. I also see individuals for individual counselling. I love helping clients work through limiting beliefs, childhood trauma's, self-esteem issues, and recovering from painful break-ups. However, if you are seeing me for couples counselling, your relationship is my client and so, I do not see any couples for long-term individual counselling.
Rest assured, all sessions are private and all sessions and workshops are tailored specifically for you - there will be no other couples in attendance!
"Choose discomfort over resentment." - Brene Brown
How the Couples Counselling Process Works
This initial joint session lasts 2 hours and gives me an opportunity to get to know you, understand your needs as a couple, to see how you communicate with one another, and allows us to decide whether I’m the right counsellor for you.
Session Two & Three
These are individual 90-minute sessions where I learn more about you personally. We will discuss your family background, as well as significant events and people from your past that may have an impact on your current relationship experience and expectations.
Additional Home Work
You can do this step at any stage but you complete the online assessments as well as the worksheets I sent you and send it back to me. You also have the option of doing the SYMBIS or the GOTTMAN SRH Assessment additionally (at an additional cost).
This is a two-hour joint session where I will offer you feedback and insights derived from the assessments and homework you have completed. I will highlight the patterns and themes I have identified and how these affect your relationship. This provides powerful insights and informs how we will work together. I know that when your relationship is in trouble and you are hurting, it affects all aspects of your life so no time to waste on weekly sessions that are going nowhere, slowly!
And even if you cannot afford ongoing therapy, this feedback will offer you valuable direction as you embark on your journey to healing.
After the initial relationship 'assessment'
I usually recommend some time working on very important and useful communication tools, trust, and shame. And then we spend time working through difficult conversations and old hurts. This is best done over two workshops but can be done over weekly sessions if preferred.
Please take note of the following requirements:
You need to commit to learning more about yourself and your relationship. Couples counselling is not a place to blame or criticize your partner but to take personal action to improve your relationship.
Anyone struggling with addiction, mental illness, or domestic violence will need to be in ongoing, active individual therapy with a separate therapist before we can begin couples counselling or coaching.
With affairs, further individual sessions are typically required. I recommend using Brain Working Recursive Technique Therapy (BWRT), which I can do with you, to work through triggers. The person who had the affair(s) also needs to dig deep into understanding the WHY of the affair and what effects it's had on his / her identity. There is also necessary grief work to facilitate the healing process
For online sessions, a strong, stable internet connection is necessary..
Going to therapy is incredibly courageous so be gentle with yourself and one another. It takes immense strength to be vulnerable and present with ‘messy’ emotions than it does to pretend they do not exist or matter.
As you work together in your sessions and homework, you will reignite the intimacy, passion, and sense of connection that will allow you to create and enjoy the ‘happily ever after’ you dreamed of.
If you’re ready to schedule your first appointment, please click here or if you have any questions, queries, or concerns, please call (028-001-0555) or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.