Infidelity, Betrayal, & Shattered Trust
"Very often we don't go elsewhere because we are looking for another person. We go elsewhere because we are looking for another self. It isn't so much that we want to leave the person we are with as we want to leave the person we have become." -Esther Perel
When trust is broken, especially when broken by a loved one, it feels like one's whole world comes crumbling in and the pain is excruciating.
The walls of our proverbial house, are trust and commitment, so when trust is broken it feels like the whole house is ruined and all the dreams within crushed. It can feel so heavy and often hurt so much that one doesn't see a way out. Psychologists have discovered that many people suffer from PTSD symptoms when they discover their loved one has cheated on them. The pain is indescribable and it feels impossible to get out of there 'alive'. Most people believe that if their partner cheated they'd never be able to love and trust them again. And it is completely understandable. But... I've also seen the impossible happen. I've seen couples take this crumpled heap of shattered dreams and rebuild their marriage into something even stronger than it was before. It takes a lot of courage. It takes determination. It takes self-sacrifice (because no, it's not fair that you got hurt and now you need to work on the marriage too.. but that's what it takes). But, for what it's worth, I have seen it happen. And I'd love to help you if you feel you can give this another chance. No, it won't be what it was. But it can be something else. And even stronger.
Let me help you hold your big, heavy feelings while you learn the ways to rebuild your marriage, one with stronger foundations, where you're both building with the same picture for the future in mind. Whilst learning these ways we will also be working on atonement and rebuilding the dreams when you're ready.
Need support on navigating the turmoil after the discovery of an affair?