This is the season to be jolly, and we are all so wrapped up in the excitement of the kids, that we can quickly be snowed under when the reality hits of what is all expected of you - whilst you already running on fumes! The organization, the family feuds and dynamics, the catering and different food expectations, the money stressors, the resentment already in your relationship, the kids and their loudness... All a recipe for disaster or joy, depending on how you whip it all together.
It is important to create our own traditions and memories for the kids but this can be hard to do when we're struggling with anxiety, overwhelm, and the lack of energy so many mothers face.
Here are 5 things I want you to do during this pre-Christmas build-up:
Make a list of your VALUES. What do you want your children to remember about their Christmases? What are you stressing about that doesn't align with your values and the memories for your kids? Can you take those things off your list of to-do's or delegate them?
Take care of the gifts as soon as possible. Delegate, order, make them - get it done while the kids are still at school. It's a massive burden off of you in the pre-Christmas frenzy.
Pick a game YOU liked as a kid to bring into the Christmas traditions. This will give your inner child a chance to not be the adult, and enjoy the time too.
Be kind to yourself. Put your hand on your heart (often) and just check in with yourself. How are you feeling? What does your body need? What can you say thank you to yourself for?
Choose discomfort over resentment. Choose to have a difficult conversation and ask for more help from your partner - it's way cheaper than resentment. And if you need help asking for help - get help. You deserve it!
And if you can only do one of these things, do just one. Please don't compare yourself to others' highlight reels. As a counselor, I see those couples you're comparing yourself to (and they're figuring it out too).
The happier you are the happier your kids and partner will be too. It's a time to choose presence over presents' - as that's what they'll remember.
I am hosting a live workshop on the 5th of December on preparing for the holidays where we will cover the core issues (like communication, expectations, families, and finances). Be sure to let me know if you'd like the link to sign up.