Happily married does not only belong to the lucky few.
I am so grateful you are here! Reaching out for more takes courage and hope. It's an inner knowing that settling for the way things are right now is not all there is.
You are right! There is more for you, for love, and for your family! I have dedicated the last two decades to understanding families, and what it takes for thriving relationships. I'm so grateful you're here. I am not your average coach or counselor, with over ten years in private practice and twenty years of working with families, I have created a unique, effective approach to helping you revive and rekindle your relationship. I look forward to walking this path with you.
Intimacy requires more than loyalty or communication skills, it requires inner safety and emotional know-how.
There are more divorces happening today day than ever before. It requires conscious effort, commitment, and desire to keep not only together, but to keep the spark. The demands on marriage are also very different from the past, with women stepping into the workforce and having more of a voice. This means the way men provide is different and needs renegotiation and understanding too. Men are expected to do more at home, but isn't it wonderful that they are also now seen more than before? That they actually get time to be involved in the family and not just as the providers, financially? But with freedom, comes responsibility, and not all people know how to not only change but HEAL from their past which keeps them stuck and defensive or resentful in the relationship.
My name is Tehilla, pronounced Tequila, but with an 'h'. I am a licensed (registered) counselor with ten years in private practice helping hundreds of couples resuscitate their marriages. Over the years I have learned that what we get taught about couples' work is not enough though, there are amazing theories out there - but any theory that doesn't translate into real-life stays theory! And so my practice is dedicated to what really works for couples. And in the shortest amount of time!
But most importantly that relationships aren't just about communication and commitment but understanding how our past impacts our present and being emotionally safe with our partners. Without emotional safety (or the commitment to creating it) then intimacy and reconnection are futile. You can survive many many years, celebrating many anniversaries, but that's not how it has to be. You can thrive in love too.
Too many many couples stay together for their kids, but divorces don't cause broken homes - they're the symptom of broken homes. If you're both willing to heal and learn, there is something very beautiful waiting for you. More of what you had when it was good, but even more than that as you've both changed, matured, and have more intimacy to share.
Ways to work with me:
For couples, these are the different approaches I offer:
Most of my couple's work is in private, 1:1 (online) settings. We do intensive sessions (meaning longer sessions, and closer to each other), as they:
Allow us to go deeper sooner, and waste less time catching up
Give you both more time to speak and be heard and heal
Mean you don't have to go home with an open argument or situation, painfully unresolved, and still lingering in the air.
My signature offer is my 90-Day reset to Love. Where we get done in 90-Days what could typically take years.
For those looking for shorter commitments, you can do my 30-Day Bootcamp (this is a relationship bootcamp where we jump-start the process of healing).
And for those who aren't sure they want to stay married, let alone work on it, I recommend doing my assessment only. After that, you can decide if you want to commit to a package or not. The assessment gives unique insights into patterns and why you two are where you are, so that you can, with more clarity and confidence, make your decision.
I also have created some wonderful e-courses which you can study with your partner, or on your own, at your own pace.
For anyone who is wanting to see me without a / their partner, please click here.
Using LOVE to turn your marriage around, in 90 days or less.
Looking deeper. The first week is a deep look into your relationship patterns and past to understand how you two got here, and what's keeping you two from having solved the issues in the first place. Too many couples think it's a simple communication issue, and while the communication is the issue - we need to get clear on why! What subconscious beliefs and blocks are affecting your ability to relate, rely on, and enjoy each other now.
Own your contribution. Each of you will be required to do individual healing with me where we work on your triggers, past patterns, and general EQ to make you emotionally safe for open conversations, healing together, and to reignite the special alchemy of your relationship intimacy. I have a unique Body EQ method (a somatic approach) and BWRT to help you get fast results that go deep.
Valour and Vulnerability. Under my safe, gentle (yet leading) guidance, we venture back to old conversations. After step O above, you are now ready to have those deep, often painful conversations that kept coming up and kept going in the same ugly cycles, without getting resolved. And the nice thing is, once they're really understood - they tend to not need to come up again. And you both feel more connected afterward.
Expand your dreams - together. Time to create the relationship you both desire, without sacrificing who you are to get there. You can renew your vows here too if you wish.
Having been highly disappointed with the traditional way of talk therapy has left couples hanging in sessions, and in between, I have developed a very unique approach that gets to the core of not only the relationship issues, but the individual issues that keep us stuck in the same old fights and patterns.
Here is a brief summary of my L.O.V.E. approach, but I do highly recommend hopping on a call to discuss it with me. We need to make sure we're a good fit before we can decide to work together so intensively.
"We've gotten more in 30 minutes with you than we did from four months in therapy with our previous therapist." Client, 1:1 Couples Work.
"Wwwowoww. Mind blown! We could easily identify our 'injury' and we will keep this in mind going forward. How valuable to now understand why we act the way we do. THIS was AMAZING! Made me tear up!" Kat, Intimately Loved Course feedback.
"This makes so much sense! So many things we were experiencing and I didn't know how to word it. it finally all makes sense!" 1:1 Couples Client
"I never wanted to go out since the affair. I was so scared of bumping into her (the mistress of her husband). Well...I just got back from a day out.. All smiles. And it almost feels surreal how calm I felt." 1:1 Mommy Client
Please take note of the following requirements for working with me:
You need to commit to learning more about yourself and your relationship. Couples mentoring is not a place to blame or criticize your partner but to take personal action to improve your relationship.
Anyone struggling with addiction, mental illness, or domestic violence will need to be in ongoing, active individual therapy with a separate therapist before we can begin couples mentoring.
With affairs, further individual sessions are typically required. I recommend using Brain Working Recursive Technique Therapy (BWRT), which I can do with you, to work through triggers. The person who had the affair(s) also needs to dig deep into understanding the WHY of the affair and what effects it's had on his / her identity. There is also necessary grief work to facilitate the healing process
For online sessions, a strong, stable internet connection is necessary. This is non-negotiable as it greatly affects the session's effectiveness.