JOSIE LANE
Relationship & Communication Psychology Coach
For Parents In Marital Distress
Happily married does not only belong to the lucky few.
My name is Tehilla (pronounced Tequila with an 'h'). You deserve to be happy. I am here to guide you with my unique process that not only gets you results FAST but connections that LAST.
As a licensed counselor and certified coach, you will have a stellar experience in my proven approach to getting you the results you desire (and more).
Hi there!
Welcome to The Couples Connection. You are carrying some heavy thoughts, feelings, and fears I am sure. This might be your first time reaching out, or you've tried it before. Either way, I know it can feel daunting too. If you don't want to read much, but would prefer to hop straight onto a call. Book a 15-minute free Zoom call with me via my assistant here.
Needing help can feel like failing, but I can assure you we ALL need support. Nothing about marriages today is like anything that's been before! After two decades of working with families, and a decade in private practice, I have created, tweaked, and mastered a unique approach that goes deeper, and faster than any method I've come across. It's helped hundreds of couples, even those who've tried therapy before!
I specialize in helping parents in marital despair make sense of their arguments (or lack thereof), heal the hurt, and find their way forward.
SO,
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If you're a couple, looking for help together, where you feel your poor communication is suffocating the love and you're both longing for more from your marriage; or
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you are trying to find which way is up, in the crisis of affair discovery;
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If you're a mom who is feeling lonely, frustrated, and lost looking for help for the burning desire for MORE in life;
Then you're in exactly the right place!
Hope takes courage. I don't want you to build hope on false promises. But restoring happily ever after isn't only for the lucky few! With the right tools, support, and dedication - you can have it too.
Intimacy requires more than loyalty or communication skills, it requires inner safety and emotional know-how.
There are more divorces happening today day than ever before. The challenges facing relationships today have never been around before. There are higher expectations for happiness in marriages. Patriarchal expectations are being challenged, and women are expecting more from men at home and in relationships.
Women are working adding to the household income.
All this means the way men provide now is different and needs renegotiation and understanding too. This requires more negotiation skills and emotional healing than before. Not all people know how to not only change but HEAL from their past which keeps them stuck and defensive or resentful in the relationship.
I am a licensed (registered) counselor with ten years in private practice helping hundreds of couples resuscitate their marriages. Over the years I have learned that what we get taught about couples' work is not enough though, there are amazing theories out there - but any theory that doesn't translate into real-life stays theory! And so my practice is dedicated to what really works for couples. And in the shortest amount of time!
But most importantly that relationships aren't just about communication and commitment but understanding how our past impacts our present and being emotionally safe with our partners. Without emotional safety (or the commitment to creating it) then intimacy and reconnection are futile. You can survive many many years, celebrating many anniversaries, but that's not how it has to be. You can thrive in love too.
PS. I don't know if you need to hear this, but too many many couples stay together for their kids, but divorces do not cause broken homes - they're the symptom of broken homes. If you're both willing to heal and learn, there is something very beautiful waiting for you. More of what you had when it was good, but even more than that as you've both changed, matured, and have more intimacy to share.
My Services
COUPLES
Let's heal to release the resentment to bring back trust again, and build a relationship you both look forward to going home to.
1.1. Private Sessions
1.2. Group Program
1.3. Video Courses
Using my unique process, you can have deep healing, faster than traditional approaches.
We do individual and relational healing, and I use a holistic approach, combining traditional psychology as well as somatic methods.
MOTHERS
You're not lost, you're drowning in outdated rules of motherhood. That voice screaming out for more is your inner knowing that this isn't enough.
Whether you want help with your relationship, without your partner. Or with your self-esteem and dreams. I've got you. My unique somatic approach will have you living your life as you knew deep down you were intended. Free from the restrictions of your childhood, confident in your clarity, and alive in your you-ness.
For you and your family!
I see you and I love what I see.
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"We've gotten more in 30 minutes with you than we did from four months in therapy with our previous therapist." Client, 1:1 Couples Work.
"Wwwowoww. Mind blown! We could easily identify our 'injury' and we will keep this in mind going forward. How valuable to now understand why we act the way we do. THIS was AMAZING! Made me tear up!" Kat, Intimately Loved Course feedback.
"This makes so much sense! So many things we were experiencing and I didn't know how to word it. it finally all makes sense!" 1:1 Couples Client
"I never wanted to go out since the affair. I was so scared of bumping into her (the mistress of her husband). Well...I just got back from a day out.. All smiles. And it almost feels surreal how calm I felt." 1:1 Mommy Client
L.O.V.E.
Using LOVE to turn your marriage around, in 90 days or less.
L
Looking deeper. The first week is a deep look into your relationship patterns and past to understand how you two got here, and what's keeping you two from having solved the issues in the first place. Too many couples think it's a simple communication issue, and while the communication is the issue - we need to get clear on why! What subconscious beliefs and blocks are affecting your ability to relate, rely on, and enjoy each other now.
O
Own your contribution. Each of you will be required to do individual healing with me where we work on your triggers, past patterns, and general EQ to make you emotionally safe for open conversations, healing together, and to reignite the special alchemy of your relationship intimacy. I have a unique Body EQ method (a somatic approach) and BWRT to help you get fast results that go deep.
V
Valour and Vulnerability. Under my safe, gentle (yet leading) guidance, we venture back to old conversations. After step O above, you are now ready to have those deep, often painful conversations that kept coming up and kept going in the same ugly cycles, without getting resolved. And the nice thing is, once they're really understood - they tend to not need to come up again. And you both feel more connected afterward.
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Expand your dreams - together. Time to create the relationship you both desire, without sacrificing who you are to get there. You can renew your vows here too if you wish.
Having been highly disappointed with the traditional way of talk therapy has left couples hanging in sessions, and in between, I have developed a very unique approach that gets to the core of not only the relationship issues, but the individual issues that keep us stuck in the same old fights and patterns.
Here is a brief summary of my L.O.V.E. approach, but I do highly recommend hopping on a call to discuss it with me. We need to make sure we're a good fit before we can decide to work together so intensively.
Please take note of the following requirements for working with me:
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You need to commit to learning more about yourself and your relationship. Couples mentoring is not a place to blame or criticize your partner but to take personal action to improve your relationship.
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Anyone struggling with addiction, mental illness, or domestic violence will need to be in ongoing, active individual therapy with a separate therapist before we can begin couples mentoring.
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With affairs, further individual sessions are typically required. I recommend using Brain Working Recursive Technique Therapy (BWRT), which I can do with you, to work through triggers. The person who had the affair(s) also needs to dig deep into understanding the WHY of the affair and what effects it's had on his / her identity. There is also necessary grief work to facilitate the healing process
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For online sessions, a strong, stable internet connection is necessary. This is non-negotiable as it greatly affects the session's effectiveness.
